Born Curious

There’s no avoiding the scary and dark parts of life. There will always be a shadow. 

Does that help make you feel more safe and comfortable? It was supposed to. It was meant to support your journey of living the human experience which will never not be full of paradox. It’s why people use terms like “ebb and flow” and ups and downs and rise and fall. It’s why storms and calm exist mutually, is why we turn and return, always. 

There is a spiritual tradition that believes as babies are born their  cries sound like  “Koham” which means “who am I” and the Universe answers back with “soham”, meaning “you are that”. This sacred exchange represents the entire spiritual side of our life’s journey from the illusion of a separate identity to the realization of universal oneness. 

We are born curious. Wondering who we are as we enter into a life that feels isolated or disconnected. For before we arrive outside of our mother’s bodies, we know we are connected to oneness, and then suddenly, we are naked and afraid. The adventure of our lifetime then, is to quiet the noise around us (often our own voices) in order to lovingly, consciously reclaim this one truth whispered to us at birth. 

SoHam, I am that. That is I. 

This is not an easy idea to grapple with. Or even more accurate, it’s not an easy idea to understand. We live separately from the whole, all our lives. We are told from the beginning what is ours and what is not ours, for instance: This is your name. This is your mother. This is your body. That is the world outside of you.  AND IT’S TRUE. You get this life and name and body as a gift. And within it, we create boundaries in order to keep you safe and protected. And SoHam has no boundaries. Soham turns us inside out. 

This is not a mind game, it is the heart that remembers. 

And it’s hard. Because it’s easier to worship than to embody. It’s easier to place God on high, outside of ourselves, on a pedestal or altar. 

We remember through love, silence or loss. These are the moments of truths that humble ego. So Hum allows you to meld into oneness. It is a revelation of identity, to understand that you are not separate from the whole. 

Though resistance to truth is normal. 

And perhaps SoHum isn’t even meant to be understood, but instead recalled. 

Let the undercurrent of each breath repeat this: 

I was never a part. I am the ocean that became the wave. I reach the shore and return to sea.